It’s too late, yanno,
to contact the manufacturer,
(she’s been dead for nearly 20 years)

But for some reason, coming off the assembly line,
my moderator was not installed.
The feature, which I am told
is not an optional add-on,
but standard equipment for those from my manufacturing year
is missing,
or utterly defective.

I am all in
or all out.
there is no testing the water with the big toe
only a cannonball to the deep end.
there is no light jog around the block every day,
there is marathon training —
or ultra trail runs.
there is no cutting back,
there is fasting
there is no writing for ten minutes in the carpool line
there is hours spent alone in a coffee shop —
or better a hotel room (paid by someone else of course)
there is no quiet quitting
there is overtime
or unemployment.
there is either sober,
or all the wine. (what is one glass?)
Let’s not even talk ice cream.

There is either no words,
or fifty thousand in two weeks.

Which I guess begs the question –

am I incapable of moderation?
Or simply bipolar?